How to Control Your Anger?

RE-EVALUATE THE SITUATION

When a person is angry, his thinking often becomes irrational and he starts making assumptions about what others are thinking. This leads us to make rash judgements about others. Problems arise when we act as if these judgements are true. The next time you become angry, evaluate your thinking. The next thing for you to do is to review the situation and see if you can come up with another interpretation. Also think of alternative explanations for why somebody did what they did and analyse the situation in a more broadminded manner.

BE ASSERTIVE, NOT AGGRESSIVE

Use your anger to get an assertive response but do not to harm others. An effective assertion does not provoke unwanted feelings of aggression on the part of the listener. Also being assertive in the face of anger involves first calming yourself, re-evaluating the situation to make sure you are not acting on irrational interpretations and reminding yourself that you own your anger. Try saying, “I feel angry when I think...”. This will help resolve problems.

VENTING MAY NOT HELP

Research shows that ‘venting’ or repeatedly reviewing and discussing the offending event, may not lead to a reduction in feelings of anger. In fact, excessive venting can actually prolong your angry response. While it can be helpful to discuss your feelings with others, it is not helpful to rehash the offending event over-andover once the situation has been resolved. Eventually your anger will fade away.

TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE ACTION

In case you find that you are frequently unhappy or angry, it may be time that you take action to correct the situation. After all, the responsibility for your happiness and your anger is yours. If, after evaluating the situation, you feel a change is needed, formulate a plan to bring about that change. First, clearly identify what the problem is and how it can be solved. Next, identify the specific steps you need to take. Using these techniques, you can control your anger and use it to improve your quality of life.